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[Stebbi]

Originally posted by Kiddiarni@Jul 4 2004, 10:29 PM
Well this one is really weird...

http://www.hugi.is/hahradi/bigboxes.php?bo...51208&f_id=1034

And this one is SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUPER COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

http://www.hugi.is/hahradi/bigboxes.php?bo...=51208&f_id=955

And for those of u who know "Badger Badger" this one is nerdish

http://www.hugi.is/hahradi/bigboxes.php?bo...=51208&f_id=959

kiddiarni are you from iceland as Kristjan árni?

[A. J. Raffles]

As far as I know Kiddiarni is banned, actually. But I believe he's from Iceland.

[Sebatianos]

How to make Ice-cream:

[eolsunder]

3 cute girls were tanning on the beach. One was bored and was playing in the sand with her feet when she uncovered a genie bottle. Rubbing the bottle, they released a genie.

" I WILL GRANT YOU EACH ONE WISH"

The first girl thought for a second, then said "I want to be 10x smarter than I am now."

"DONE! YOU ARE NOW SMARTER!"

The first girl smiled and walked down the beach, quoting advanced mathmatical formulas and linear equasions.

The 2nd girl thought for a second, then said "I want to be 100x smarter than I am now."

"DONE! YOU ARE NOW SMARTER!"

She smiled and wandered down the beach, quoting space-time equasions and unfocused chaos theory algorithims.

The last girl though a second, and said "I haven't even made my wish and I'm smarter than those other 2 idiots. I want to be 1000x smarter than that last girl."

"DONE!" said the Genie, "YOU ARE NOW A MAN!"



<hehe, gets all the girls mad at the party>

[eolsunder]

What did the dumb blonde say after sex...

"So, all you guys on the same team or what."

How does a dumb blonde turn on the light after sex.

She opens the car door


Two blondes were in the back of a pickup truck when it lost control and plunged into a lake. Poor girls drowned, they couldn't get the back hatch open.


A blonde walks into a bar.........(open the door next time stupid)

A blonde decided to dye her hair so people wouldn't make dumb blonde jokes about her any more. She dyed her hair.....yep...blonde.

[Sebatianos]

I know I wrote this joke here before, but:

What's the difference between a Yankee and Dixie blonde?

Yankee blonde says: You can!
Dixie blonde says: Y'all can!

[BeefontheBone]

Has this turned into the wrost jokes thread again? Surely we can do better than crappy blonde jokes?

[blastradius14]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Sep 1 2005, 12:15 PM
And here's another:

Heheheh.

3 cute girls were tanning on the beach. One was bored and was playing in the sand with her feet when she uncovered a genie bottle. Rubbing the bottle, they released a genie.

" I WILL GRANT YOU EACH ONE WISH"

The first girl thought for a second, then said "I want to be 10x smarter than I am now."

"DONE! YOU ARE NOW SMARTER!"

The first girl smiled and walked down the beach, quoting advanced mathmatical formulas and linear equasions.

The 2nd girl thought for a second, then said "I want to be 100x smarter than I am now."

"DONE! YOU ARE NOW SMARTER!"

She smiled and wandered down the beach, quoting space-time equasions and unfocused chaos theory algorithims.

The last girl though a second, and said "I haven't even made my wish and I'm smarter than those other 2 idiots. I want to be 1000x smarter than that last girl."

"DONE!" said the Genie, "YOU ARE NOW A MAN!"

It doesn't work that way... cause the girl that changed to a guy would be ugly as sh*t. Not to mention this is the opposite (and less funny) than the one I posted earlier.

[eolsunder]

why does Michael Jackson like twently eight year olds..



because there are twenty of them.



Jesus and Moses go golfing one day.

Jesus is on the 9th hole, and its on a island in a lake. He looks at it a second

"Moses, hand me a 9 iron"
"Jesus, I think you want to use a 7 iron, the 9 won't do it"
"Listen, " Jesus says, "I can make this. I've seen Tiger Woods make this exact same shot with a 9 iron, if he can do it I sure know I can".

Moses hands him the 9 iron, and Jesus hits the ball, but its short and lands in the water.

"Moses, be a friend and go get the ball back would you?" Jesus asks.

Moses parts the water and walks out and gets the ball. When he comes back Jesus goes to hit. Again, he uses the 9 iron.

Moses looks at him "I told you it won't work, use this 7 iron."

"And I told you that I can make it. Tiger Woods does it all the time with a 9 iron and I am JESUS! I for one can do the same thing." Of course, Jesus hits the ball short again into the water.

"MMmm Moses? Can you go get that for me again?"

Moses looks at him "No way, You go get it yourself, I warned you twice already."

So Jesus drops his clubs and goes walking out on the water, looking down for his ball. Another group comes up to the hole and sees him out walking on the water. One guy turns to Moses and says "What the hell is going on, whats he doing. Does he think hes Jesus Christ or something?"

"Na. He thinks hes Tiger Woods."

[Xikarita]

Originally posted by Sebatianos@Sep 4 2005, 06:47 PM
I know I wrote this joke here before, but:

What's the difference between a Yankee and Dixie blonde?

Yankee blonde says: You can!
Dixie blonde says: Y'all can!

Feeling sexist, are we? :bleh:


****How men and women change the oil:*******

Women:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since
the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
maintained vehicle.

Money Spent:
$20.00 Oil Change
$1.00 Coffee
----------------
$21.00 Total

Men:

1. Go to auto parts store and write a
check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand
cleaner and scented tree.

2. Discover that the used oil container
is full. Instead of taking it back to recycle, dump in hole
in back yard.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking
for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in
process.

12. Clean up.

13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

14. Look for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it
off.

16. Beer.

17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change
tomorrow.

18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath
car.

19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of
clean oil to gasket first.

23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of
fresh oil drains onto floor.

27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.

29. Begin cussing fit.

30. Throw wrench.

31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss
December (1992) in the left breast.

32. Clean up. Apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

33. Beer.

34. Beer.

35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

36. Beer.

37. Lower car from jack stands

38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands

39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil
spilled during step 23.

40. Test drive car

41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the
influence.

42. Car gets impounded.

43. Make bail. Get car from impound yard.

Money Spent:
$50 parts
$12 beer
$75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to
match!
$1000 Bail
$200 Impound and towing fee
---------------------------
$1337 Total


How's that for retaliation? :whistle: