03-05-2011, 05:40 PM
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#4 | ||
   Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Var, Hungary
Posts: 1,721
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Keep an eye for:
- number of syllables - rhymes - stick to the tematic. In this case we could've say 1st section is gone love, 2nd is new love, but this order soon collapses. - in the 3rd section why you use "they"? The rythm seems in order though. And a creative advice: many people fail with trying to write "love-love-love" poems. It's not an imminent failure to write a love poem (even if "love" as word is always used in them), but at least try other themes.
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