Keep an eye for:
- number of syllables
- rhymes
- stick to the tematic. In this case we could've say 1st section is gone love, 2nd is new love, but this order soon collapses.
- in the 3rd section why you use "they"?
The rythm seems in order though.
And a creative advice: many people fail with trying to write "love-love-love" poems. It's not an imminent failure to write a love poem (even if "love" as word is always used in them), but at least try other themes.
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Nothing has a meaning. You can't even say it has no meaning as that'd mean it has. - Godkiller, Defender of Anarchy
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