Several facts about Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris sleeps with pillow under his gun
Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He only tells the bank how much he needs.
Time won't wait for anyone... unless it's Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can win monopoly without owning any streets.
Chuck Norris went on a space expedition to prove that we are alone in space. Now we are.
Chuck Norris once visited Virgin Islands. Now they are called Islands.
Chuck Norris doesn't have alcohol problem. The Alcohol has a problem with Chuck Norris.
At the end of every episode of "Walker - Texas Ranger" it's not credits. It's casualities.
The scene in which Chuck Norris got beaten by Bruce Lee had the most expensive special effects to date.
Chuck Norris invented cancer because he got tired of killing people.
Chuck Norris doesn't leave messages. He leaves warnings.
Chuck Norris sleeps with lights on. Not because he's afraid of the dark. The Darkness is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Arnold said "Ill be back" in first Terminator. He only went to ask Chuck Norris for help.
Chuck Norris once survived suicide bombing. He was the bomber.
When Chuck Norris raises his middle finger, he only shows you how much seconds of life you have left.
The Chinese Great wall was originaly built to stop Chuck Norris. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris counted to infinite. Twice.
Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. Death was afraid to tell him.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris separates his laundry into three heaps. White, Colour and Bloody.
When the Boogieman goes to sleep, he looks under the bed to see if Chuck Norris is there.
Chuck Norris often donates blood for the Red Cross. But not his own.
Chuck Norris once played russian roulette with fully loaded gun. And won.
When Chuck Norris falls into water he's not wet. The water is Chuck Norris.
There's no evolution theory. Only list of species that Chuck Norris left alive.
When Chuck Norris is late, the time should slow down for it's own sake.
Chuck Norris can burn ants with magnifier. At night.
Chuck Norris is the only person who beat the concrete wall in tennis.
Chuck Norris' tears heal cancer. Too bad he never cries.
On the last page of Guiness Record Book there's mentioned that Chuck Norris holds all of them. The people mentioned there are just closest to him.
Some people wear pajamas with Superman. Superman wears pajamas with Chuck Norris.
There are no races. Only people who got beaten by Chuck Norris to different shades of black blue and yellow.
Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at KFC and he got it.
There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris destroyed the table of elemets. He only acknowledges one. Element of surprise.
In Nagasaki there was no bomb. It was Chuck Norris.
The handicaped sign on parking lot means, that Chuck Norris will make you handicaped if you'll park there.
In regular Living Room there are 1242 things that Chuck Norris could use to kill you. Including the Room itself.
Chuck Norris never sleeps. He only waits.
Weapons doesn't kill. Chuck Norris does.
The most common causes of death in USA are: 1: Heart Diseases 2: Chuck Norris 3: Cancer
Space exists only because it's afraid to be on one planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He only presses them to get information.
Chuck Norris is so fast, that he could run around the earth and hit himself into back.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 74 and all of them are deadly
Chuck Norris knows the last number of Pi
Chuck Norris invented whole color spectrum except pink. That was invented by Tom Cruise.
Chuck Norris can stretch diamond, transforming it back into coal.
There's no global warming. Only Chuck Norris pulled the earth closer to sun when he felt cold.
When god said: Be light. Chuck Norris waited till he kindly asks him to.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse into it's jaw. Henceforth it was know as giraffe.
Ozzy Osbourne bites off bat heads. Chuck Norris does that to Tigers.
Chuck Norris can make a bubble from beef steak.
When you say "No one's perfect" Chuck Norris takes that as personal insult.
Sorry if mistranslated something
