Bummer
 

Yep. Bummer. Though I am doing satisfactory in school, I'm not doing well in the "groupies" aspect, or the friendship aspect. Simply put, I feel like an "expansion pack" rather than a "vital component" of the group of friends. It's like they need others and leave me behind, and they don't seem to mind. Actually my disposition with my friends is different:

My supposed best friend... I feel like she doesn't know me anymore. She doesn't know me to the point she doesn't mind me much, unless she has a question (she rarely asks me anything, anyway) and she replaced me with another best friend. The thing is, her new best friend knows that I was her old best friend but told him not to utter a word. I am NOT jealous.

Then, some of my friends (2-3 boys) always piss me off. They treat me like a toy, nothing more but a source of their enjoyment. For friends, they... remember only the times I got humiliated in class, make fun of me, make me their servant, and others that degrade me. So far, only one of them is not doing those stuff to me.

Then I have a friend who's a girl, and she seems to be the only one aware and concerned about my situation. I repay those favors by bringing her to her school service (the ones who bring her home)

My best friend's boyfriend (classmate last year) well... no comments. He seems to be friendly and is oblivious of friend problems.

Then I also have no comments about the others, actually.

The general point is, I feel like I'm not a part of the group rather just an unnecessary addon. I hate it. I just do.

Here's what I would do:

1. Tell them how I feel with the group. Only thing is they may think I'm overreacting and then some of them will get mad at me, which makes the scenario worse.

2. Do something that will get me noticed. Downside, they only notice me if I have to be made fun of. Otherwise, I can barely get their attention.

3. Leave temporarily (1-3 weeks) and find a new group to join with. If my old group is happier/doesn't mind that I'm not around, then I stay with my new group. Problem here is they may know me less, maybe to a point I'm just someone they know.

Any other suggestions/advice for a 14 year old student leading an eventful and troubled life?

Just use your personality. Try to be more fun, calm and cooler. If the group tends to make fun of you, try to make fun of one of them. We used to do that a lot in my friend-group, making fun of each others, because we all were kind of losers.

Thats all I can think of. I could probably say more If Id know what kind of person you are.

A) This + B) This = the situation you're in.
A+B simply need some time, it will be solved by itself.

You're a puber, none likes you, except your parents/grandparents.(Hopefully for you anyway).
Hey, you probably even don't like yourself.
Give it a year or two, and you will be grown up.
Things will change then.

If they leave you behind, it's an indication they do not consider you as close a friend as before. Perhaps try to find out why?

They're not being friends, they're being jerks.

If you don't feel like you're one of them, just leave them - no need for unneccesary drama.

If the situation is as you described it, some of them would just use this as a source for more ways to humiliate and insult you. Not recommended.

A correct question to ask would be: Why do you want to get their attention to begin with?

Frankly? I'd say leave _permamently_ and find a new group to join. Your current one sounds like they treat you "just like someone they know" already, so you can't possibly find a worse one.

Not really. At approximately your age I just quit trying to actively gain friends at school because the best cases were just like what you described.
On the other hand... try to be nice and helpful to others (but don't let yourself get pushed around). You just about might make yourself a real friend or two. :)

Hee-hee :D Sorry, but I gotta admit, my own long-gone puberty problems are quite funny, thinking back to them they seem so easy and "GAWD, how could I not see THAT" ;)

Anyway, the others are right, you should simply let it go, wheather out this stage in your life, these problems will all solve themselves sooner or later. You'll see, you'll be like "GAWD, I can't beleive it was THAT easy".

On the topic of friends and cliques: I think you yourself don't really know who you are at this point in life, so having a shifting circle of friends is only natural, everyone is out to find his/her own style and clique to belong to. If you feel uneasy or trapped in your current circle of "friends", it's time to go find another one, in which you feel comfortable, or at least not like a jerk/outsider. On the topic of "best friends", I can only say the same. Friends come and go, that's the way it is. The only true best friends is the guy who you can go into a screaming match, beat each other up for some lame reason, then get each other off the floor, laugh about it and go have a beer. The best friend is someone who you can trust and count on, who you know, if you call him on an urgent matter, he WILL BE THERE for you in five minutes even if it means canceling a date or a wedding or anything...
That kind of people are VERY hard to find tho... :/

Anyway, just take it easy, and all will be well ;)

you could try my way, which is better to the point that you will never be left behind.
most people are afraid of me cause of my exagerated behaviour. violence + verbal violence combined with quality humor and beautiful eyebrows:P
that seems to be my recipe of succes. last night all the senior year students insisted i should join them in the social gathering that was actually trouble(for the police, neighbours and the rest of the students who still are in campus cause of their jobs). by the way, i managed not to get kicked out of the campus cause i must be too damn hot.

so. what you must do:
1) become violent
2) start drinking
3)don't try to make trouble to get attention. do it for your own fun.
4) beat the *woodpecker* out of your old gang.
5) rent a *****

OR YOU COULD JUST BE GENUINELY PSYCHOTIC. LOOK AT ME I TAKE THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MEDICATIONS.

SORRY, I AM PRESCRIBED TO THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MEDICATIONS. WHO SAID I TAKE THEM!? HAHAHA

porn

I know from experience this is hard but u just gotta cut your losses... whether they mean it or not, if they make u feel like an "add on" then somethings not right. I found myself in a very similar situation at about ur age... although i prob had fewer "friends" :cheesy: it was really damagin my self esteem and compoundin upon the prob as i didnt think anyone else would get me either.

Dont know what your into but i psyched myself up and found my local RPG club. Findin like minded people really helped and after 15 years a couple of those people i still consider friends. But thats how it goes... ive prob got 1 friend left from primary school.... 3 from high school... 2 from tafe and a few from work.

I like to think ive trimmed the fat and kept the best bits :) lol

maybe you just get them wrong. i remember once we had this dude who was clumsy and it was, of course, funny. then he got this reputation, and we as friends made picks about it. like picks about of any of our friends, not meant to be offensive, cause we were friends of course. and i don't know where was his trust but he just thought we are not his friends anymore cause we'd make this picks.

first of all, it was seriously retarded of him to think that we were being serious with the pics. we knew each other for more than 6 years, i don't know, he didn't pay attention to our personalities anymore? and he used to 'pick' others (friendly) as well. so i really don't know. and secondly, if he really minded it, why didn't he tell it. instead he told on the end of school with a talk about how does he hate us etc etc. and we were like 'wat?'

so i don't know, i wouldn't make a big deal of it, maybe they don't really mean to be offensive

Oh god, when i try to solve ppls problems, they just flak me for it. First of all, I know many ppl, specially on youtube, that would spazzout on you for letting us konw how awful your life is when we have our own things to think about. That being said...

Ok, everyone, it's nice you want to help her (i presume your a lady?) But seriously, if she needs to change her personality and everything just to be friends with a bunch of jerks who don't apreciate her normally, then it really won't be her whos tryingto be friends with them, now will it? I mean, she is who she is. If they don't like her because of her personality, then obviously they are not right for her. She's not even the same person if she changes her personality just so that she can hang out wit 2-3 people, now is she?

I Just recommend this. If they don't see what a good person you really are, find some one who does, someone who actually appreciates you for you, not for who you try to be like.

Are you one of the fish that follows the others, and ends up flying over a waterfall or in a giant fishing net, or are you the one that swims against the stream, and choses to be different?

You can quote me if yo like :)

A lot of quoting... and replying:

My personality has little sense of humor, I'm afraid. I try to be funny, yet sometimes it doesn't work.

Puberty gave me a 5'7 height, thinking skills, and a deeper, if not better voice :cheesy:

2 things pop outta my mind which may be true and 1 that may be outta my imagination. The first one is that I'm not "fun" to be with. Second is they think I'm annoying. The imagination part of me says they're just going to backstab me. Not good.

1 of them stopped, but I have yet to see further.

Maybe so...

I'll stay out of that.

I'm not being given enough attention.

That I have in mind. I already know which group I go to.

Yeah... Thanks. New people and groups are hard to find, though.

It's like looking for a [insert big number here] carat diamond. The reward is really great once you get it. :D

@Himmler: You really ARE too HOT :p I may try your 3rd and 4th suggestion.

@Pigggy: I get teased those... being psychotic, crazy and looking like this guy. It only means they're crazier and more psychotic than I am. MUHAHAHA!!

My group consists of 8 friends excluding myself. Something isn't right, yes... And... it can damage more than your self-esteem.

I would. I'm a walking laughing stock.

I'm the one who's in that situation, not... her. Whoever she is.

I wonder if someone with a name Ian and Frederick would be a lady? Hmmm.... :cheesy:

Yeah. Novelty friends :D I know someone who does appreciate me for who I am.

I try to swim against the stream. If I can't, I chose the former.

that you're "walking laughing stock" doesn't mean that they mean to make fun of you for every price. maybe you're clumsy by yourself. but well, does it have to be a bad thing? it's not that anybody judged you for that (do they?)

and i think that Fubb wrote your problem down in one line

I'm with Yosarian on this one.

Anyways, just be yourself Ian, it does get easier I promise :)

i should prob add a lil extra... i dont necessarily mean start all over again... as that is beyond dauntin... at the age u and ur friends are the developing persona is a frightenin thing to behold and whether it be thru outright bullyin or friendly put downs it appears to be a measure of dominance and findin ones place is the hierachy of a friendship group and consequently the world at large... definately try and find another niche for yourself in another social group as this will help your self esteem but in a year from now, or sooner, or later the friends u have now may change the way they evaluate the ppl around them.

One of my continuin friends now treated me like dog shit for a few years in an attempt to fit into the "in" group of the time. I hated him for it but can now understand the pressures he felt. It took almost 5 years for me to rebuild the friendship but it was worth it in the long run.

i guess the moral of the story is - forgiveness and understandin underpins any friendship as we all make mistakes. But dont wait for it, continue to strive and the others may catch up eventually :D

ya i dont no wat ur cryin bout in skool all mah frends are kool as hell!!!! :wacko::wacko::wacko::wacko::wacko::wacko::wacko:: wacko: