I don't know if this have been done before, but i figured i'd put this up.

What is the funniest quote or the funniest statement you've read?, it can be on a forum,videogame, anywhere as long as it's somewhat clean and not insulting.

I'll go first, it was a random post on the Gamespot Forum by Buggmeat:


I just ate a whole tub of Cool Whip, and it wasn't one of those small one's either.I'm talking about the family size bucket here.Now my pancreas hurts and my vision is blurred, but i think it was worth it as long as nothing else goes wrong.




Right in the middle of a very long, heated, neverending argument...priceless. :hysterical:

A quote from someone:

I am right 95% of the time, so I don't worry about the other 2%...

:hysterical:

One my friend told me, perhaps not the funniest ever but close enough - "9 kills in a row on Quake 3 - God. 9 kills in a row on Unreal Tournament - Butcher. 9 kills in a row on Counter Strike - you get booted from the server for hacking."

I was looking through wikiquote a while ago, and managed to come across the article Last Words. I didn't really want to read through all of it, but one good one was by Terry Kath, who shot himself in the head. His last words were "Don't worry, it's not loaded..."

BTW shouldn't this be in the games section?

This is just the best thing ever!!

- You know you live in 2006 when...
1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.
2. You havent played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
9. You were too busy to notice number five.
10. You actually looked back up to check if there was a number five.
11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(The Punisher @ Oct 21 2006, 03:18 PM) [snapback]262729[/snapback]</div>Some people will hate me for this, but heck...

[SNIP]

:hysterical: sorry...

No spam, please, especially like that - Danny

In Fallout 1 and 2:

You: Hey Cody(?) would you like some powerfull metamphetamines?
You can hunt and kill your own food. Even other children."

Dr. Holiday:...either i am a sucesfull killer or a fair doctor, take your pick...

Sulik: We and I have de hole goin' through de middle.

Phyllis: Well, welcome to Vault City, fellow citizen. We don't see many new faces around here. I'm Phyllis. What's your name?
You: If I wanted to give you my name, I would have told it to you, "Sy-phyllis"... or whatever the hell your name is.

Harold: Mutants. They were everywhere. Seems you couldn't fart without hitting one. They were coming Mostly from the Northwest, though.
You: You farted Northwest?

From the website It-He:

(About Thief, the game)

IDM: Shouldn't you be hiding those dead guards?
JPM: I don't know. What does "hiding" mean?
IDM: It's when you take their hides as a trophy.


From the Lazarus ( The remake project for Ultima V) forums:

"It still amazes me how almost all fans of the game seemed to think we were trying to simulate literal butchery of bandits rather than just getting their trail rations. You people are sick! Sick!"
-- Ian "Tiberius" Frazier, Lazarus project director

"So.. Uhm.. Are we getting the trail rations off the bear, rabbits, and deer too?"
-- TheHawk, Lazarus chief evangelist

"Cannibalism is the Ninth Virtue."
-- Ian

JPM: "So what's the mantra of cannibalism then?"
IDM: "YUM"


Long post, but I thought all of those were hilarious :hysterical:

Um.... for renegade fans... the game although horrible.... has a GREATE multiplayer!
see

I just remembered something here on this very forum that mighty midget said a while back, which made me laugh -

"10 mistakes of the 80's

1. 1980
2. 1981
3. 1982
4. 1983
5. 1984
6. 1985
7. 1986
8. 1987
9. 1988
10. 1989 "

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(troop18546 @ Oct 21 2006, 10:22 AM) [snapback]262742[/snapback]</div>Some people will hate me for this, but heck...

[Snip]

:hysterical: sorry...
[/b][/quote]

Not funny.

And if you haven't noticed, I quoted his post so this page will just get bigger.
Ha.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Blood-Pigggy @ Oct 22 2006, 12:08 AM) [snapback]262798[/snapback]</div>Some people will hate me for this, but heck...

[Snip]

:hysterical: sorry...
[/b][/quote]

Not funny.

And if you haven't noticed, I quoted his post so this page will just get bigger.
Ha.
[/b][/quote]

Definately :offtopic: , but you failed - I made it even bigger now. Ur still a n00b :ph34r: .

@ 80's joke - :hysterical:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chainsoar @ Oct 22 2006, 04:27 AM) [snapback]262785[/snapback]</div>I disagree wholeheartedly. 80's was the era for rock, when people left the disco scene of the seventies and the world became a much better place. I enjoy some disco, but overall 80's rock kicks @rse.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(troop18546 @ Oct 21 2006, 11:40 PM) [snapback]262800[/snapback]</div>Some people will hate me for this, but heck...

[Snip]

:hysterical: sorry...
[/b][/quote]

Not funny.

And if you haven't noticed, I quoted his post so this page will just get bigger.
Ha.
[/b][/quote]

Definately :offtopic: , but you failed - I made it even bigger now. Ur still a n00b :ph34r: .

@ 80's joke - :hysterical:
[/b][/quote]
I GOT THE BIGGEST POST! :D
sorry.... :P

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(The Punisher @ Oct 21 2006, 12:18 PM) [snapback]262729[/snapback]</div>It was funny until number 7. Self referencing humor is like saying "Heh heh. Hey everyone, I farted" after everyone in the room around you has already dove to open a window, tipped off by the rumbling report of your intestine.

As for my, back on topic, contriubtion, the funniest thing I've ever read, I'll have to paraphrase, was a forum conversation on alien invasion. Someone asked, "What are you supposed to do if aliens attack?" and the best responce was, "Move cautiously and save time units for a snap shot."

X-Com humor trumps all!

I found the list rather funny.

and here is something I found rather funny.
Those who're sensitive, don't feel insulted. Its a joke after all.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(#BlakhOle# @ Oct 22 2006, 12:57 AM) [snapback]262834[/snapback]</div>I disagree wholeheartedly. 80's was the era for rock, when people left the disco scene of the seventies and the world became a much better place. I enjoy some disco, but overall 80's rock kicks @rse.
[/b][/quote]

I agree! Long live Rock n' Roll!


For the funniest thing, I cant pick a choice. Many things i find are funny.

"Mods are always right, even if they're wrong".

I know the 80's were quite cool in places. After all, that was the decade of Slayer & Metallica. I just thought it was funny. The 80's were quite tacky, no matter how much cool music was produced. I mean, legwarmers? Espadrilles, for god's sake?

Aside from a littany of swear laden flamewars that I have seen, which I can't really post here, my favourite comes from a 'gentleman', who in the middle of a tirade about how everyone else on the board was a loser, was reminded that he was a 'brickie from Bournemouth', to which he replied:

"I'm not a bricky...

I'm an apprentice builder".

(Note: I have nothing against brickies, it was just funny considering he was ripping on everyone else's life)

And, in a poll to chose the most popular person on a board:

"You start out with -23, because that's the number of aliases you used to rig these polls."
"No, I'm only guilty of 7 votes."

Can Michael Jackson be said to have "gone back"?

You call that rock? Bunch of sissy guys with make up, commercialized heavily by MTV pretending to be rock while playing Britney Spears like song with guitar distortion and playing guitar very bad?
I don't know what the whole synthetic midi sound thing meant in the 80's which 90% of the bands used. It was worse than disco, much worse. Talent was not an important word in music back then. [/off topic rant]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(BeefontheBone @ Oct 23 2006, 06:06 PM) [snapback]263105[/snapback]</div>He 'gone' white.. o.0 :w00t:

Two of my favs

Warm beer is infinitely colder than no beer

and from Ronnie Johns...

Im an Emo prarie dog!
Little hands, stupid hair!
Little hands, cutting myself

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Tulac @ Oct 23 2006, 04:28 PM) [snapback]263107[/snapback]</div>
Good point.


hehe. Bloodhound Gang have this album with a song caled "Ten coolest things about New Jersey". You press play on the song, and you get ten seconds of silence LOL

I remmember a good one:

24 hours a day,
24 beers in a case...

Coincidense?

I think not...


:hysterical:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(chainsoar @ Oct 21 2006, 01:23 AM) [snapback]262646[/snapback]</div>Now thats a funny one! :w00t:

Now thats a funny one!
[/b][/quote]

Agreed :)

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(JimmyJ @ Oct 29 2006, 07:52 PM) [snapback]264185[/snapback]</div>Now thats a funny one!
[/b][/quote]

Agreed :)
[/b][/quote]
now you are just spaming :bleh:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(a1s @ Oct 29 2006, 10:44 PM) [snapback]264214[/snapback]</div>Now thats a funny one!
[/b][/quote]

Agreed :)
[/b][/quote]
now you are just spaming :bleh:
[/b][/quote]

Aren't we all? :rolleyes:
BTW, A1s - why have you written "Blatics" instead of "Baltics" in where you live? Typo?

from another forum i go to

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(JJXB @ Oct 30 2006, 12:31 AM) [snapback]264225[/snapback]</div>:hysterical: nice fiance...

I just met an orc in Morrowind that made me sort of giggle-ish. I was levitating through Balmora on one of my daily exercises, minding my own business, and this aforementioned orc walked by, looked up, and said casually: What's that? or something along that line. I have spent a few hours in Balmora, and it is safe to say there are no other man, elf or orc levitating in any fashion in that town. When I put myself in his shoes, I found it pretty funny.

I was looking through some last.fm accounts and in one persons profile someone had left this message in their shoutbox...

I found it quite funny.

A question asked in chat:

www.hlcomic.com

Start from the first comic since its already finished!

Yesterday i was playing Day of Defeat: Source with friends (yes even a looser like me has them :bleh: ) and there was a guy on the server named "a small black homeless child". LOL He wrote "sh*t" into the chat after i pwn't him, and i wrote under it "is what you eat." He replied: "Ni**er P3*!5 is what you eat."

That was SOOOOO funny. LOL ^_^

Edit:
No offence against anyone, it just was very funny. If that post contains to much of whatever, remove it if you like. Nothing bad intended.

Today, whilst speculating as to what another poster would do about having his thread deleted:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE("Guy on internet")</div>

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(The Spider Mastermind @ Nov 10 2006, 06:05 PM) [snapback]266315[/snapback]</div>[/b][/quote]

LOL ahahahahahaha...

I just read some guy's post where he bragged about how UK troops would take on any enema... hmmm, that's one army down the toilet.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mighty Midget @ Nov 17 2006, 06:41 PM) [snapback]267398[/snapback]</div>LMAO LOL.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(CorruptMylar @ Nov 22 2006, 06:34 AM) [snapback]268130[/snapback]</div>That stuff is always funny *clear's tears from his eyes*

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(troop18546 @ Nov 19 2006, 07:45 PM) [snapback]267633[/snapback]</div>LMAO LOL.
[/b][/quote]


Ha ha ha! The Brittish Army, bringing peace to the world, one arse at a time!

Also, yay for the "MAYBE HE'LL START POSTING IN CAPITALS" quote - best giggle I've had for a long time :D

Here's something:

1. Go to google
2. Type: French military victories
3. Click: try your luck

And see the results.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TheChosen @ Nov 22 2006, 10:21 AM) [snapback]268154[/snapback]</div> :hysterical:

Anyone remember the French participation in the "Phoney War"? Appearantly, they moved their tanks forward to the german positions, didn't open fire, got spotted, got blown away by what they saw (pun intended) and withdrew after the Germans took over some of the French armoured units.